Blind Future :(

I never thought of feeling this way before. Feeling super depress by what my future would be.. where would I be? Shito. I was so sure that I wanted to be a pharmacist, ever since last year. Hearing some of the details from my teachers and friends as well..I was so excited to be one. But when result came,.. I am no more sure. With that not so good result,.. I am pretty confident the competition will be a huge one. I mean really, deeply and insanely serious competition on getting the spot! Gerr,.. what can I get from being a pharmacist? Satisfaction of course.. Ask me another question,.. what about the salary? Starting is about 1.5k.. and the time base? Only after 15 years!!! WHY?! I know why mum, dad, aunt Jay and uncle encouraged me to take teaching,.. yes! It's because of the time base within 8 years only since the SBPA was announced by the Prime Minister early this year. So, it's kinda easy to upgrade to the next and next level. And the salary is going to go higher and higher,..but I don't really know what to consider now. Is it my future salary or self-satisfaction? In terms of money,.. yes I do need money for living. And who knows if I have a family one day? What about my family's expenses? :'(( poor my kids will live poorly. And what about being a pharmacist? Aarghhhhhh! Shito! *screaming inside out,.. Lord, into You I surrender. Use me as You will. Make me known of my mission in this world. You must have reasons,.. that You sent me into this world You created. Help me to know, Lord. I am willing to be Your faithful servant. Make me Your instrument. I pray.